Supreme Satire

This letter to the editor was in the Salt Lake Tribune the other day. It is, without a doubt, one of the funniest things I've ever read. Well done, Mr. Edwards, well done.

"Not My Fire

As I listened to yet another politician argue for federal dollars to bail out American citizens, I grew angry. I refer to Gov. Gary Herbert's call for the U.S. Forest Service to cover firefighting costs associated with the Mill Flats fire ("Guv criticizes fire policies," Tribune, Aug. 31). The Forest Service's policy of letting the fires burn on federal lands is sound fiscal policy, for fighting fires merely consumes limited tax dollars that could be returned to us taxpayers.

Why should my taxes go to cover private residences built near wildlands where lightning fires are likely to occur? After all, these people are free to find market-based insurance to cover their needs.

Where in the Constitution does it say that fighting wildland fires is my responsibility? It's not my house or structures that are in danger, but those of people who clearly chose to live a lifestyle close to wildlands. I know that having a residence near wildlands makes the insurance more expensive for the owners, but that merely reflects free-market costs. It is reprehensible and un-American that they should ask that I cover their needs -- another indication of our increasing creep toward socialism.

Thomas Edwards
Logan"

Seriously, that is genius.