This Is Why You're Working Fast Food (And Will Forever)

Just got off of work and decided to pick up some Subway from the drive-thru on the way home. They have a very tasty chicken sandwich for $5 that I always get and was ordering when I had this exchange with Captain Dumbass, henceforth known as "Subway Joe":

Subway Joe-"Would you like mustard on that?"

Me-"No mustard. Can I just get mayo and sweet onion?"

Simple enough. He moved on, I moved on. I paid and got my sandwich and drove home. I then open up the sandwich and what do I see? Mustard slathered over everything! And no mayo or sweet onion sauce! He also forgot the spinach that I had ordered, even though he had written it down on his little order sheet. Yes, the one that was inexplicably stuffed inside the sandwich and also slathered in mustard. Speaking of mustard, to quote Todd Barry, "Have you ever eaten this shit? It tastes like garbage." Seriously, how do people eat mustard? Nasty. Anyway, congrats to Subway Joe for being able to breathe, as he is obviously not capable of much else...