Bachelor's Degrees Are, For The Most Part, Worthless

Been doing some thinking recently, about my life and my career (well, job), and such, and came to the conclusion that, unless it is in a specialized field, Bachelor's degrees are worthless. I am a prime example, I went to school, got my 4 year degree, even graduated Summa Cum Laude (putting me in the top 5%, I believe it was, of all graduates from the school that year). Sounds impressive, right? Yet here I am working part-time for approximately $9.50 an hour. Meanwhile, I'm pushing 30. I've seen similar stories with friends of mine and hear on the news about recent graduates not being able to find work at all. That's because Bachelor's degrees are generally useless. I say generally because if your degree is in a specialized field like, say, microbiology or even mathematics, it is probably still helpful in a job search. On the same token, people with those kinds of degrees are probably less common and are going for specific jobs from the start. But for those of us with 4 year degrees in Communication, English, History, Philosophy, any of the arts, and so on, your degree (unless you got a teaching certificate with it) is worth slightly less than the paper it is printed on. I say slightly less because, while you still have a nice piece of paper, one side of it is now unusable for future printing. For most people, the job market is all about WHO you know and not WHAT you know. And since I'm not a big networker, here I am, low pay, low (and crappy) hours, no benefits, no paid time off, and no raises in...ever. So those friends of mine who never bothered going to college, don't worry, in the long run, you didn't miss a whole lot, plus you got 4 years of job experience on the rest of us! And for anyone with a good job, I have 2 questions: Are you hiring? and Can you put in a good word for me?

This Is Why You're Working Fast Food (And Will Forever)

Just got off of work and decided to pick up some Subway from the drive-thru on the way home. They have a very tasty chicken sandwich for $5 that I always get and was ordering when I had this exchange with Captain Dumbass, henceforth known as "Subway Joe":

Subway Joe-"Would you like mustard on that?"

Me-"No mustard. Can I just get mayo and sweet onion?"

Simple enough. He moved on, I moved on. I paid and got my sandwich and drove home. I then open up the sandwich and what do I see? Mustard slathered over everything! And no mayo or sweet onion sauce! He also forgot the spinach that I had ordered, even though he had written it down on his little order sheet. Yes, the one that was inexplicably stuffed inside the sandwich and also slathered in mustard. Speaking of mustard, to quote Todd Barry, "Have you ever eaten this shit? It tastes like garbage." Seriously, how do people eat mustard? Nasty. Anyway, congrats to Subway Joe for being able to breathe, as he is obviously not capable of much else...

Music Stuff

I have recently trying to re-backup some stuff from my old college computer (basically condensing the tons of backup CDs I burned onto DVDs) and I came across an old video that I hadn't seen in ages, but is, as the Aquabats would say, "serious awesomeness!"

New America from Bad Religion on Vimeo.

Good old Bad Religion. On a side note, in looking for a copy of this video online, I found out that they are recording a live "album" of sorts that they will be sending out for free if you join their mailing list at badreligion.com.

Anywho, that got me thinking of old videos that I hadn't seen in a while, and then up comes "Peppyrock" by BTK on itunes. This video has some many great old-school Sesame Street references, my favorite being the B-Boy "one of these things is not like the other". This video also makes me miss Muchmusic to an insane degree. For the uninformed, Muchmusic is basically Canadian MTV, except they play music (so maybe Canadian MTV circa-1990). Good stuff. Anyway, here's the video for that:


On a related note, here's an old Sesame Street moment. They don't quite make them like this anymore; can you imagine a pseudo-drug dealer on a kid's show today???


Which brings me to my favorite music video of all-time. So incredibly, amazingly, and wonderfully stupid! If you don't already know what one it is, I won't spoil it, but I will give you a hint: it involves fruit and ninjas. It's also not available for embedding so follow this here link!

In addition to all the video goodness, I realized that I promised (months ago) to get a top albums of 2009 list together. I also realized that it hadn't happened yet. So with a little thought and plenty of half-assedness, here's my picks:

Honorable mention:
Lady Sovereign - Jigsaw
Weird, wacky beats and presentation are the hook here. Lady Sov is as odd as ever, but I think the music has improved. She's also added some songs that are oddly confessional, for her and for rap in general. And a sample of the Cure's "Close To Me"? Good stuff.

Matt and Kim - Grand
Wikipedia lists them as "dance punk". I'd call them more "electro indie" (yes, I did just make that up). Either way, this is a fun album that I have enjoyed a LOT more than I expected. If you watch "Community", and you should, it has gotten excellent, you may remember this one. While you're at it, check out a cover someone made with Mario Paint, holy crap!

Runner-Up:
Flight of the Conchords - I Told You I Was Freaky
Great album. This was close to getting up to number one, but a couple "meh" moments drag it down (notably "Demon Woman" and especially "Fashion is Danger"). Oddly, I liked the first season of the show more, but enjoyed the album of the second season more. And when the songs here are good, they are REALLY good. "Hurt Feelings" (home of the classic line, 'I feel like a prize asshole/no one even mentions my casserole') and "Sugalumps" are both amazing. And then, of course, there is the all time classic "Too Many Dicks (on the Dance Floor)". AMAZING. And where else would you hear 'Too many dicks/too many dongs/too many schlongs/now sing this song'? FOTC singlehandedly make New Zealand awesome.

Best Album of 2009:
Fight Like Apes - You Filled His Head With Fluffy Clouds and Jolly Ranchers. What Did You Think Was Going to Happen?/...And The Mystery of the Golden Medallion
First of all, before I get into anything, these guys are incredible. Go here right now and download their free concert mp3s and then mosey over to amazon where you can get their full album for $7 in mp3. Now with that out of the way, a little explanation as to how two titles take the top spot. "You Filled His Head..." is actually a sampler EP for the US market (FLA is Irish) that, despite what amazon says, was released here prior to the full album. It is mainly cuts from ATMotGM with an extra song or two. ATMotGM was actually released overseas in 2008, but seeing as how I'm not overseas, I am going by the American release, which was well into '09. With explanations out of the way, let's discuss the music. It's wild and (at times) sloppy and random and punky and dancey and filthy and funny and catchy, as well as sugar and spice and everything nice (or is that girls?). They categorize themselves as "karate rock", which is about as good a description as any. I could try and single out some songs, but they are all great. Some of my current favs include "Something Global" ('hooks are for wimps/and choruses for gays' is right up there with the FOTC line), "Do You Karate?" (unfortunately the lyrics are edited in this video, but what can you do?), and the wonderful "I'm Beginning To Think You Prefer Beverly Hills 90210 To Me" ('you're fired/SUPLEX! SUPLEX! SUPLEX, BACKBREAKER!', genius.). Although Bret and Jemaine put forth a valiant effort, MayKay and the boys from Fight Like Apes just plain put out a classic album. Honestly, they are by far the best band I have discovered in YEARS, and oddly enough, I discovered them when they were mentioned in a small blurb on the wikipedia homepage. Who knew that that was the place to find new music? Congrats, Fight Like Apes!

Finally, in closing, I'd like to present you with something completely unrelated that will become your new favorite thing to say post-defecation: "Boy, that's a load off my anus!"

Ben's Magical Travels Through Internet-Land

Here's some random things that I have found entertaining on recent journeys across the arid landscape known as internet:

Todd at work sent this one my way; it's a 50s "educational" film about the dangers of homosexuals...

Note the fantastic "Leave It To Beaver" music, also found in the companion video "Girls Beware" in which young women find out that all men are serial rapists/murderers. Thanks, 1950s!


These led me to the next educational film (in 2 parts), all about girls and "the curse". I sure learned a lot this day!


My personal favorite was this sign:


Moving on from making myself smart, 50s style, I found some pictures taken by a man named Matthew Albanese. Go there are look at them for yourself before I ruin the mystery for you...do it... They are really cool landscape style pictures just on their own, but wait, they aren't landscapes at all. They are actually miniature models that he builds and then uses angles and camera "tricks" to pull them off. The Martian landscape? Paprika and nutmeg. Really. The mountain river? His patio table. This guy is amazing.

Do you have a spare $1 million laying around? Neither do I! But if I did, I might look into this, which is one of those things that is so utterly pointless, but so unbelievably awesome...

And finally, one of the most horrific things I've come across in ages. Just to scar you for life. You're welcome.